This Is Not a 30 Things I've Learned in 30 Years Blog Post

Tomorrow is my 30th birthday. That’s a big milestone and for most of the year, I wondered what I should do to commemorate or celebrate it.

I felt pressure to do something that could qualify as special or significant in honor of the occasion. But throwing the biggest party with as many people as possible just because it’s my birthday isn’t really my thing. (Throwing a party for someone else = very fun. Thinking about any kind of party for me? Barf.)

And making any kind of grand gesture, even if it did fit in with how I see myself — like writing some big “30 things I’ve learned in 30 years” blog post or something — seemed forced rather than meaningful.

As I thought through what I could or should do, I realized I needed to reframe the question to be about what I wanted to do. What felt significant but genuine to me?

I realized I did want to celebrate, but in my own way. So I let go of trying to figure out the “best” thing to do on your birthday and then what I actually wanted to do became immediately clear and obvious. I booked myself a spa day, made plans to swing by a little wine bar downtown where I’d meet Eric for a little pre-dinner date, and then head to our favorite neighborhood restaurant with a few friends who are the kind of people I can be 100% myself around and never have to worry what they think of me.

I realized I did want to do some kind of reflection, but on my own rather than in some contrived, have-to-make-it-public way. I plan to sit down with some questions and prompts and do some writing later — but on my own, and not as something I have to turn into a published piece.

And I realized that I did want to think of 30 as something special, even though throughout the year I’d shrugged it off as not being a big deal.

Even though I don’t feel 30 — or any particular age, really — I am leaving one decade behind and starting another. I’m able to look back and marvel at how much has changed and how much I’ve grown over the last 10 years, and feel a sense of wonder at the possibilities that the next 10 years could hold for me.

I’m incredibly grateful to walk out of this decade with the sense that I’ve grown, I’ve advanced, I’ve learned, I’ve improved, and I’ve discovered and explored far more than 20-year-old me could have ever imagined.

And from my 20s, I’m bringing in so much good stuff into my 30s: A clear sense of self. Acceptance of who I am (and who I’m not). A family that feels complete, with a true life partner who is my joy, my light. A group of friends and people I can rely on and trust. A sense of community, a love of my city and my home. An awareness that now is really all we have and a desire to make the most of each moment.

Knowing how much I experienced in my 20s, I can’t even begin to speculate on what my 30s could look like — but I do know I’m excited about this decade. I’m happy, I’m grateful, I’m thrilled to be here and I can’t wait to see what comes next.